it’s always the same thing every year. it fucking sucks. i always end up crying one way or another. and guess what? this year isn’t any different. i’m spending new year’s eve alone. and it’s not like it’s a bad thing if you’re single and alone. i wouldn’t mind that. but i have a boyfriend, and we’re not even spending it together. he’s hanging out with my friend and my cousin. no one invited me out tonight, and i don’t even have work in the morning.
i hate life so much right now. what the fuck.2 notes / 1 year ago / reblog
you say that you want a future for us, and yet you don’t act like that. tonight we went bowling, yeah, and once you bowled for me without me knowing. i got a little mad and hit you a bit, so what? you’re gonna wait until everyone leaves the car to act like an asshole? you’re gonna start cursing at me? but for what? is that going to make the situation better? you complain all the time about how we fight a lot, but you just keep the fire going. i was fine seconds later, but you just kept that shit in, didn’t you. you kept it in just so it could build up inside of you, and you exploded.
i didn’t want to listen anymore, so then you start driving like an asshole. 50mph on a 25? swerving like crazy? what the hell is wrong with you? that, and you just decide to be an asshole to the people behind us and block them from paying for their food. what did they do to you? that’s right. nothing.
what makes it even worse, is that you don’t say bye to me when you dropped me off. and once i got out of the car, you just leave, knowing that i don’t have my key. you know i don’t live in the safest of neighborhoods, yet you still leave. real fucking mature. you might as well have left me to walk home. i would’ve preferred that.
keep pulling this shit. go ahead. don’t cry when i don’t text back or pick up your phone calls.0 notes / 1 year ago / reblog
so there is something that i’ve noticed recently. well, i mean, i’ve thought about it before, but i never thought too deeply about it. so i’ve realized that i’ve always been someone’s second choice. like, ALWAYS.
just thinking about it really sucks, and it actually hurts quite a bit. just knowing that that one special person in your heart just chose you because they couldn’t get who they really wanted to be with, really sucks. i just don’t know any other way to explain it. don’t get me wrong, my relationships with those people weren’t even terrible, but that thought in the back of your head, just knowing that you weren’t good enough to be someone’s only choice really kills.
even my boyfriend now. when i met him, it hurt to know that he really liked someone else, and just wanted to be with her so badly. the only thing that set him away from her, was the fact that she didn’t like him back. so i guess he just settled for second best aka me.
i don’t even know what to say. i’m just being emo right now. life sucks.
Anonymous asked: where do you work? and whats your bfs name?
well i have three jobs C: take your pick! haha. & jacob.0 notes / 1 year ago / reblog
so i don’t know where else to post this but tumblr, because it’s too long for a FB status LOL. i hope people actually read my tumblr. ._. well actually, i don’t really care if you read this whole thing. it’s pretty long. i’ll just keep it here as a memory C:
anyway! today was a pretty gloomy day. pretty much pouring ALL day :C BUT! it was my last day of classes, so that was a plus. i went to work today, at the antique shop, and i thought that it would be pretty dead since the weather was so bad.
when i got to work, my boss told me that he found a nylon string guitar for me. soooo, new guitarrrrrr! idk what to name it though. something that starts with N. yeah, that’d be good.
but on to the story! a lot of people came into the antique store today, and most of them were trying to sell their guitars. there were these two guys who came in to sell, and one of them was trying to sell his fender acoustic. i was working on the computer, so i wasn’t really paying much attention. then when they were leaving, his friend said that he had an american telecaster that he never plays. i don’t know too much about guitars, but apparently they’re pretty expensive or something. so they left to get the guitar.
after they left, i was just straightening the place up, hanging paintings and whatnot. a little while passed, so my boss just figured that they weren’t going to come back. but eventually they both did. so joshua, the guy who was trying to sell the telecaster comes in, and apologizes to my boss. he was extremely polite, saying, “oh, i’m so sorry. i was thinking about what you said about how american telecasters are stamped, so i looked at it in my truck, and apparently this one was made in mexico. i really apologize, i didn’t mean to deceive you.” and all that junk. so my boss looks at the guitar anyway and does his research online.
while my boss was on the computer, joshua & i were having a small conversation about school & work. it was a nice little conversation, but it wasn’t anything big. you know, just casual conversation you’d have with anyone. a few minutes later, my boss tells him what he can pay for the guitar, but it was a bit of a struggle, as i suppose joshua became attached to the guitar. but as he was saying earlier, he has three guitars, and he never learned to play, so he asked my boss to find it a good home. after that, the the two guys left the store, and i continued to work.
my boss and i hung loads of paintings that were pretty much scattered all over the store. since he’s a bit older.., i’d say (LOL, he’d kill me if he read that), he wanted to take a little break and check out his online sales.
[GOOD PART!] a little bit later, joshua comes in again, and i kinda figure that he probably wanted his guitar back, because he said, “oh, i’m sorry sir, i don’t know if this is appropriate.” BUT he turns to me, and he said, “this took a lot of courage to come back here, and this doesn’t happen everyday. i don’t know how to say this, but i’d really like to see you again.” i was kind of shocked, and i didn’t know what to say, but i was like, “i’m sorry, but i have a boyfriend..” he looked a bit sad, and said, “oh i understand. well, i just wanted to let you know that you’re a very beautiful young woman. i was hoping that i wouldn’t hear that you have a boyfriend.” i know this is cliche, and i know this isn’t what most guys want to hear, but i didn’t know what else to say. i told him that i’d love to be friends with him anyway. i mean hey, he seemed like an extremely nice guy. so you know, he said that it was nice to meet me, and he was leaving. i gave him a hug because i know how much it took for him to come all the way back to the store to say that to me. i know that like 89%+ of guys would never go back to tell a girl that.
anyway, that made me smile a lot. like it was genuinely shocking. that kind of thing has never happened to me before. but anyway, after work, i went to jacob’s house, took a nap, went home, and messed with my new nylon guitar C: hopefully this new guitar will motivate me to play again.
life’s good. that made my day.1 notes / 1 year ago / reblog
desuana asked: I miss you! And when'd you get the feather extension? It's so cute!!
i miss you too desuanaaaaa! i got it like a week and a half ago. i love itttttt <3 i wanna get moresss!0 notes / 1 year ago / reblog
10. Your views on drugs and alcohol
i’m not a fan of either, at all. i’ve never touched a drug, (unless you know, it was medicine, but we’re not talking about that hereee.) or drank alcohol. i don’t know. it think it’s dumb that people rely on those things to have fun.0 notes / 1 year ago / reblog
LOL. so i started this challenge in january. the last post i did with this challenge was in march.. haha what month is it now?!
9. Your last kiss
i think i was saving this one for when i actually would get my next kiss, andddd i’ve had many from my boyfriend since then, so why not just describe my first kiss with him? :) hehe.
i remember everything from that day, and this was before jacob & i were together. it was may 14th, the day before his birthday, and my friends and i decided to surprise him with cupcakes and such. eventually we did, and our friend kris had to go home. although i live closer to the house we were at, kris said, “just drive me home first, and you guys can have your alooone time.” HAHA, so surprisingly, and just as i hoped, jacob drove kris home first. it was POURING out. and when i say pouring, i mean POURING. jacob had to drive like 5mph because there was so much rain coming down. we dropped kris off and so jacob was going to drop me off.
by the time we arrived at my house, the rain was still going pretty hard, so i asked him if i could just stay until the rain subsided a little bit. we talked for a while, and i decided that i should go inside because it was about 1AM. so i hugged him and said bye. buttttt! i didn’t want to go. so i hugged him again & about a thousand more times. THENTHENTHENTHEN, ahhh, i had the craziest butterfliessss! our faces were really close, and he leaned in & kissed me. :) it was so cute, and it made me the happiest girl aliveeeee!
the end.0 notes / 1 year ago / reblog